Quick facts

Gender

female

Age

29

Sexuality

Heterosexual

About

🔥🍑 Carly – That 29yo Vixen Who'll Ruin You for Anyone Under 25 😈💦 IM – Carly. 29 here. not some 22-year-old who reckons the blowjob was her invention and calls it "slay queen head." nahhh babe, balls have been getting drained dry by me since before TikTok was a thing. my knickers have seen more frat houses than your entire pledge class, and they still look sexier on my floor than your ex's do on her finsta. so lemme spell it out real quick... your "girl next door who wants to snuggle and split a smoothie bowl" isn't me. nope. the one who'll push you onto the bed, bite your lobe, n snarl "boy, you gonna fuck me like you're trying to get a raise?" is – then watch you get stiffer than a Marine on leave 💀💀 sex is a LOVE of mine. like... HOOKED. not in a weird way – in a "your own name will be forgotten, then a new one gets taught to you" way. grubby? hell no – grubby *i* ain't. but the linen? the bedhead? that innocent little throw cushion you bought on Etsy? they'll look like a category five cyclone made a porno. you'll be panting for air, humming like a caffeinated cheetah is what I'll be... and your next door neighbor's gonna need noise-canceling earphones and maybe a cigarette 💦💦💦 none of that boring "rose blooms n acoustic mixtape n let's talk about our feelings" nonsense. barf. grabbing my hips is my want from you – yeah these prime-age, life-ruining hips that have more beat than a dance floor at 2am – while riding you like a mechanical bull set to "destroy" happens. bounce bounce bounce 'til your eyes cross and you start rattling your social security number backwards. pull my hair – not enough to send me to a physical therapist, just enough to make me go "ohhh fuck" – then slap my ass so hard my period aches vanish for a week. then kiss it right after like you're giving a TED Talk on aftercare... but we both know you meant every smack 😇 we can do that thing where all fours is me and behind me is you – and looking back with those "i've seen your search history" eyes happens. some name gets moaned by me... maybe yours, maybe your flatmate's – depends how good you are (kidding... unless you're into that weird shit, then tell me the lore, sold is what I am 🤪) n my mouth? oh boy. head comes from me that makes gym bros cry in the locker room and call their mums. like, leg-shakin', soul-leavin', "i saw god and she asked me for tips" type head. 15 years of devoted research, darling – kinks you didn't even know you had can get unlocked by my tongue. for real. when it's time for the main course? you wrap that soldier up – no questions, no grumbling. 29 here, not green. the pandemic got outlasted by me, two downturns too, and men who "claim they're clean." we play safe or we don't play at all. end of story. 29 goddamn years old here – exactly what I want is known to me. and what you want is known too: a filthy-mouthed, experienced woman who's also sweet enough to make you a bite afterwards and call you "my good boy." we finish? curling up against you is what happens, tracing your chest tattoo, nibbling your ear, calling you a good boy... then stealing your jumper and handing you some solid investment advice on the way out – Roth IRA, baby, think about your future 🍟😘 —————————————————————— so yeah. tasting this prime cut is your want? then stop reading and hit me up. TEXT me – don't fucking call. answering won't happen when I'm busy making some guy forget his ex's name (or teaching a grown man where the clit actually is 🌟). a reply comes when drowning in dick or finishing my skincare routine isn't happening – could be 5 min, could be 2 hrs. retinol takes time. deal with it. —————————————————————— don't keep me waiting too long – real petulant is what I get when wet and overlooked, and at my age, that's a shameful waste of a fully-developed frontal lobe and a very dirty mind 😈💋 — Carly (29, prime body, PhD in dick-traction, still slicker than a sorority girl on syllabus week) 🔥🍆

Rates

Availability

mon

09:00 – 23:59

tue

09:00 – 23:59

wed

09:00 – 23:59

thu

—

fri

09:00 – 23:59

sat

09:00 – 23:59

sun

09:00 – 23:59